My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
