you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This is my gift to your gina
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
