New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When are your genitals available?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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