the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My vagina is officially offended.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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