i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
