How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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