Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
