These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
