This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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