I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
