Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
