Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
