the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
is that a dick in a sweater?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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