I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize