Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
