I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she smelled like a LAN party
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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