i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
