I've blown a few things in my day
she looked like the before picture.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
