I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
