i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
