The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
