If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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