My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
