do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
