Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Randomize
