i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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