So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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