11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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