..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
