i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize