really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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