Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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