It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize