so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we're so committed to being not committed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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