how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We need to get me chipped asap
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
