That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
