he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
