Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
