break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
