allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
