i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
