just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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