my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
His hands were made for my vagina.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
