I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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