I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i dont even know how to be here
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
