New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
so much tequila, so little girl.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
