I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
