so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
