Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
