Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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