ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
