even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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