and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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