She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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