where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize