You can't special order awesome
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
