i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just want to make out with him forever
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
