Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
