just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
