There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it glows. i had to have it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
