i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
