best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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