And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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