Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
