I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
