i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
