Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
