Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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