Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
