i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
