We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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