I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
false alarm. still invincible.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
