i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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