Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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