so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize