So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
that is very illegal...i love you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
