I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
