Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
