I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
