Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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