We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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